new beginnings {nix}

[nixnight]

Nix smiled as she saw the fire flicker in to life before and she chuckled a little despite her feelings at the moment, she reached a hand down in to her shoe and took her wand before flicking it sharply. A small beam of White light appeared before her and then it shifted in to a large White wolf, the wolf looked at nix before resting against her side and then she felt the warmth if her patrounus and she sighed again. She felt better knowing her phantom was with her, even if the male who held that name and should have hold her hand through her baby issues was now gone. "what if I said I wasn't alone, I am having a baby after all. It'll be here soon to be with me" she said with a little smile before she felt a small thought in her head. She wanted to press back and kept warmer, not for hear but for the warmth that she wanted from the other boy but she knew that she couldn't do that. They were friends and she had to hold that, no one would want her with a baby due

[sterling]

Sterling felt a little better when he saw a small smile on Nix's lips, though all the same it felt bittersweet. He knew that after tonight he wouldn't have reason to make her happy anymore. She didn't want him, so he would have to learn to respect that. Sterling wondered if he would even be able to have a friendship with her, or if that too would be within the realms of her not wanting him to deal with her baby. He looked over at the patronus she conjured, it was impressive, taking the shape of a wolf that looked near solid. He felt the side of the silvery wolf brush up against his fingers, filling him with an unfounded warm sense of happiness, like everything in the world was just fine. "Well, then, I can be here in the meantime," said Sterling with a bit of a shrug. It still hurt that Nix didn't want him around, but he hated seeing her struggle.

[nixnight]

Nix found her eyes rolling in her head. She didn't know if it was down to being alone with a boy she really liked of if it was down to her patronus but she felt better now, but she still felt a little strange. "you shouldn't stay, I have to suffer this because I was stupid and childish but you did nothing so you shouldn't have to suffer by it" she said in a firmer voice before she turned to sterling and looked in to his eyes to try and get the message across. "it'll be me and my baby soon, we'll manage alone. I dont want to drag my friends down over it, I'm not worth the pain that my baby will bring. No one will ever want me that much" she said in a solid voice. She knew it was true, she hated to admit it to herself and had been hiding it for months now but she knew it was true all the same

[sterling]

Sterling wasn't quite sure what to do with himself, though at that moment he was feeling shockingly content even with the looming aspect of leaving Nix to her own devices after that evening. Perhaps it was the fact that at that moment she was under his arm, or that in junction with her Patronus. The charm in and of itself had a property to it that made the surroundings warm and comfortable, despite them being outside in the dead of winter. He sighed yet again as Nix insisted that he shouldn't be there, and then bit his tongue when she stated nobody would want her. Sterling did want her, though wasn't sure if he could admit it, not that minute. "I promised tonight," Sterling said after a pause, "and I know you don't want to drag anybody into it, but if you need help, just ask."

[nixnight]

Nix felt a small smile trickle on to her face again and she nodded, sterling was not just going to leave this to lie. "I will ask when and if I need help, I promise" she said in a small voice before she whispered to herself. "I need a shoulder to cry on and chest to rest on and hug to hold me and a kiss to comfort me but i can have none of those so what should I ask for? What can I even ask for" she said in a tiny voice just so she could hear herself admit that she wanted and craved the company of someone to love her and her baby yet she knew she could never find a guy like that easily

[sterling]

((OOC: Now seems like a good opportunity for a kiss ))

"Good," said Sterling when Nix said that she would ask for help if she needed it, though he doubted that he would ever hear from her voluntarily. Bless her soul, she was so strong, so independent. Sterling viewed her as the kind to never ask for help, even if they really did need it. He would have to check in on her periodically, even if that was exactly what Nix told him not to do. When she less than whispered something that he was unable to hear spare for a few words, he looked down at her, his pain for her struggle showing in his eyes. Acting out of sheer gut feeling, he placed his finger beneath her chin and gingerly lifted her head so he could look her in the eye. Before Sterling could even think he kissed her, though it only took a second for his brain to start working again and he broke contact- unable to believe he had just done that.

[nixnight]

Nix wrapped her arms around her knees and shivered in the slight breeze that came over her as she admitted she needed someone only for sterling to gently touch her face, she turned to look at him and gave him an odd look as a few seconds passed yet he said nothing. Then she felt him lean forwards and kiss her and she froze, her arms went tense and her eyes widened and then all of a sudden the kiss was gone. Nix felt a buzzing shoot through her body all of a sudden and she felt warm again before her eyes snapped back from their glazed state and looked at the ravenclaw boy before her. She had to have dreamed the last ten seconds, that could not have just happened. Yet she felt so happy so maybe it could have, but it couldn't have..

[sterling]

As the reality of what Sterling had just done caught up to him, he found that his heart practically leaped into his throat, it was pounding furiously. And Nix was seemingly just sitting there, she didn't do anything, she didn't say anything. Now he felt suddenly nervous, even with the Patronus nearby. He would have preferred Nix started shouting at him, anything other than this silence that he couldn't interpret. Sterling felt himself going very red in the face, though found that he didn't have any words either. Had he really done that? It felt like he had suddenly woken up from a pleasant dream- and wasn't sure what part had been real and what had been the images his brain had created.

[nixnight]

Nix felt her eyes go dry and had to force them to close and to blink before she opened them again, her arms felt arm against the cool breeze of the night around her and her heart was now beating harder and harder inside her. She was now half sure that the last ten seconds had happened, not totally as she was also fairly sure she had just gone mad but she was rather sure all the same. Her eyes snapped back up to sterling and she saw the confusion of her own reflected in his and then her own body began to obey her again. She lifted a hand and then slipped it just behind sterlings neck and lent her head forwards to rest it against his forehead, there was the comfort she hadn't had in 9 months

[sterling]

Sterling now found that his mind was racing just as fast as his heart, he still had no idea what came over him, Nix had expressly told him that she didn't want him being dragged into her problems, but he couldn't help it. He had never had feelings like this for someone else, he wanted to be the one to hold and protect her, not just walk away and leave her alone to sort out her own affairs. Thankfully, Nix acted before Sterling needed to, slipping her warm hand behind his neck, putting her forehead against his. At least now he knew he hadn't done wrong, to the contrary it seemed he had done the right thing that evening. Sterling could only smile in response, he didn't think there were any words he could come up with that would fit.

[nixnight]

Nix felt her heart beat against her ears and she tried to breath softly to calm herself down a little, she felt so comforted now and she knew she had somone she could trust to stay by her. "you going to stay?" she asked quietly, she knew she did need somone and here was the boy she had liked for a fair few weeks now clearly had feelings for her too and had gone out of his way to be kind to her for such a long time. she felt so wanted all of a sudden that she leaned away from the boy fast to avoid her own emotions getting the better of the control of her head

[sterling]

Sterling lightly played with a piece of Nix's red hair. He loved her bright red hair, the slightly untamed quality to it, the length. In his mind, it was perfect. But he always had had a thing for long hair, not that short locks couldn't be attractive on girls, but he preferred long hair. "As long as you want," said Sterling, finally finding words when Nix asked him if he was going to stay. One thing was for sure, she wasn't going to be rid of him, at least not then. He just hoped she would let him make his own decision and stay with her, no matter how strong she was, Nix couldn''t do this on her own. Sterling wanted to do all in his power to help her.

[nixnight]

His words shot through nix like a fire, her eyes began to well up and she lifted a hand to rub them again before she rested it on the bump. "what about them? What happened when we meet them?" she asked, this has been her biggest fear and the reason she hadn't allowed anyone to get close to her recently. She didn't want them to have to worry about her and her baby and the stresses but also the idea of losing someone she cared so much about because her baby was born. It had happened once already when the baby had been made so she knew it could happen.

"what would you do if it was born?" she asked in her small voice, both wanting to hear the answer and scared to her him say anything. She didn't want to lose the happiness and comfort she could feel running through her body

[sterling]

Sterling once again slipped his arm around Nix's shoulders, hoping that the gesture was comforting to her, that was all he wanted to do at the moment. Though of course he almost wanted to kiss her again, though Sterling figured he shouldn't push anything. That had been a reckless, impulsive thing to do, but it had felt so right, like he should have done it a long time ago.He kept quiet a moment, pondering how best to answer. Really, he would do anything for Nix, that much he knew. He just wanted to see her happy, she of all people deserved it.

"I'll stay," Sterling said in a firm sort of way so she would know he was telling the truth, "I'm not going to abandon you." If the need called for it, Sterling would serve as a paternal influence to the child. It was alarming him slightly how much he didn't care about altering his life so dramatically, being with a woman carrying a baby that asn't his. But he didn't care, he wanted them both to be happy.

[nixnight]

Nix felt the tears in her eyes swell over and trickle down her face at sterling's words, "it'll need a father and now at least it'll have one of the best" she said in a watery voice before she leaned back. She now had the arm of sterling around her and so she leaned her body under his so she could rest her head closer to him and feel the warmth coming from him, it made her feel so wanted again and she loved the feeling so much. "but i must warn you, i do have the name set" she said with a small chuckle as she turned her head to look up at him. "you wont be changing my mind from those I've picked" she said as a wide smile cheeped over her face and she then leaned forwards herself and kissed sterling's forehead softly