winter's taking wing (open)

[natalia]

Nat didn't bother with her hair nor any other aspect of her appearance that lazy Sunday. She had been looking forward to her first Sunday where she could feel the grassy gardens beneath her as she sprawled out, letting the day pass by without a care, her nose dug firmly in a book. The weather had been pleasant and compliant enough to allow her this day to herself. Of course, it wasn't what she would have chosen, the ground still damp from the rapidly melting snow and the spring rains which chased the gray winter away. The air was still chilly, but a coat quickly solved that problem.

Nothing was going to ruin this day for her.

Not a soul was in the garden, and Nat didn't bother to waste her time wondering why. She figured they were all probably in their common rooms, or in Hogsmeade. That was fine by her. Today wasn't a day for her to be puzzled by the odd ways of her peers. This was her day. The stack of books about as high as her sitting form was evidence of that. She reached for the top one, a delivery from Erik, a new release on, what else, Herbology.

She fell so deep into the book that she barely remembered where she was when she heard someone approaching, ready to interrupt the bliss she had found. She looked up, a list of people running through her head she figured it would be just her luck to find there.

[grace]

Grace hadn't wanted to go to Hogsmeade, not that weekend. Really, she only went either to see Tain or because Kevin and Martin would literally drag her to the village in hopes that it might make her more sociable. Though their actions did have good intentions, Grace very seldom had a good time in the crowds, she would much rather stay up at the school where it was quiet. Grace had been intending to stay and spend the day with Maya, though her younger sister had wanted to spend the afternoon with her friends, which she was fine with. A little alone time was probably in order.

She had been intending to go down to the Quidditch pitch, though the gardens in the thaw of early spring she had been unable to resist. So lightweight cloak wrapped around her and smell of damp earth in her nostrils, Grace went in, a half-dance shamelessly in her steps as she knew she would be alone. Or so Grace thought she would be alone. When she spotted the girl she stopped immediately, beginning to feel the anxiety she often did when faced with strangers. Perhaps the girl hadn't seen her, then Grace would be able to turn around and walk quietly away. Alas, it was too late.

Grace met the younger girl's gaze with an awkward sort of smile, while hoping with every fiber of her being that she wouldn't be expected to hold any sort of conversation. Though of course, she couldn't, not with a stranger. No, any hope of her using her voice had vanished when she laid eyes on the second year.

[natalia]

Nat blinked, half awaiting an insult, the other half thinking the girl may be some chatty-kathy. She had already clapped her book shut when she had heard the footsteps in preparation. When the awkward smile painted the Hufflepuff's face, she realized neither was coming. She raised an eyebrow. She had thought she knew everyone who frequented her-er-the gardens.

They stared in silence, both reminding her of deers caught in the headlights of an auto. She managed to return the smile after awhile. Suddenly she felt herself retreating into that shell she had been working to shatter, not knowing what the girl must have been thinking, only a smile on her face.

"Hi?" The word seemed awkward. How long had it been? It had seemed much longer than the minute of surveying she had done. This had probably been the first time she had ever initiated a conversation with a stranger. Even then it had been a question of a word, wondering what could possibly have the girl looking frozen in place.

[grace]

Oh no, this was not what Grace had wanted, not at all. She had rather wanted to create her own dance on a whim in the privacy of the deserted gardens- not encounter someone that she had never met before, be asked the usual questions, be prodded or made fun of because she could not speak. Grace could speak, but only to family. She knew that she could trust them, that they weren't going to hurt her- other people, not so much. It would take a long time for someone to prove themselves trustworthy to her. No one thus far had done it.

Okay, good, the second year Ravenclaw had returned her smile (which she assumed looked just about as awkward and uneasy as she felt). This might be where normal people might do a simple nod of the head, turn and be on their way again, though Grace never really had picked up on many social things. Likely a side effect of not speaking to anyone unless she trusted them since she was three years old. Though when she uttered a single, inquisitive "hi" Grace almost instantly felt scared again, though she remained awkwardly rooted to the spot.

The girl would expect a reply, that much Grace knew, but it would be a reply that she would never receive. She wasn't even able to echo that one, solitary syllable. After a moment of processing Grace nodded her head in to signify that she had heard and acknowledged what the girl had said, and then anxiously tugged on her sleeves, making sure they covered the countless scars on her arms.

[natalia]

A familiar, deep rooted panic began to course through Nat. She pulled her knees to her chest awkwardly, hugging them as the girl stared awkwardly around the garden, as if looking for an escape root. Had Nat really been that awful? Had she said something wrong? It was only hi. After years she had figured she had known every infleciton of emotion you could convey with hi. Did the girl hate her anyways? Why should Nat care? But she did. She hadn't felt this panic in a while, most people open and leading the way through the social situations which had once been a psychological fear of hers. Of course, Erik had helped, but she couldn't always hide behind him. This was one of those times where she became painfully aware she wasn't as fully healed as she liked to think. Somewhere, she was still cowering inside, as she found herself doing not only inwardly, but outwardly too.

The girl nodded, and Nat allowed herself to relax a bit, wondering why the Hufflepuff wasn't speaking. She ran a hand nervously through her thick hair, wondering if it was her unkempt appearance that brought on the harsh judgment. She bit her lip as the girl continued to shift awkwardly. This was a first. Couldn't the girl simply insult her outright? Even then, Nat wasn't one to respond, unless your name was Malfoy and you had a strut that made you look like an ostrich gone lame. The silent, harsh judgment she faced now was worse than the bullying she endured regularly from several Slytherins.

"You can sit, I guess?" It was a question. Another stupid, insecure question. But Nat wasn't leaving her garden. "I won't bite," she giggled awkwardly at her own lame joke, hoping it would relieve some tension as the girl yanked her sleeves down in what must have been a habit. Nat had her own of running hands through her tangled hair, slowly beginning a wild curl which was showing no sign of letting up.

[grace]

Grace had no idea what she was doing, then again she never did when faced with unexpected social situations. She liked to have loads of notice so she could figure out the best way to get out of it as quickly as possible, without having to awkwardly have one of her siblings explain why she wasn't speaking. At least the girl before her also seemed fairly awkward, so perhaps that way she might not come off as offensive. Some people did take her muteness that way, though Grace never meant to upset anyone, she just knew it was because they did not understand- and that she didn't always have someone who could explain her nearby.

Though thankfully her social anxieties meant that almost everyone left her alone, people tended to avoid or fear that which they did not understand. Which Grace found worked in her favour. The fewer people that talked to her, the better. Although her family would probably love for her to break free from her perpetual shell, Grace simply did not see that happening. At least not at that moment. No, right now she was too afraid of people, it was a big scary world, and with the attacks on the ministry and within the very Hogwarts grounds... You never could completely trust anyone.

Stunningly, Grace found herself sitting down when the girl suggested it, pulling her legs up beside her in the grass. It felt damp on her hip and the side of her leg, though she didn't mind too much. Now she would definitely be expected to speak... With a sudden surge of both creativity and bravery, Grace pulled a piece of paper from her bag and a quill. Quickly she wrote out My name is Grace, I am mute in her elegant cursive and held it out to the girl, fingers trembling slightly.

[natalia]

Nat was pleased and a bit dismayed when she continued for the longest time in silence, even after sitting. She had thought maybe the girl understood her anxiety with people and her fear of social situations, subject to scrutiny of people you don't know. An invisible shudder ran down her back as she thought of it. She raised an eyebrow curiously as the Hufflepuff began writing something.

Mute. Nat nodded. She knew deaf people spoke sign language, but was mute the same? She'd only read three books total in her life time, back in the Dublin library before Hogwarts had even come into the picture. In retrospect, something that seemed so fascinating then had been near forgotten now. Times like this it really hit her how her life has changed. But it wasn't the same. She could hear her. It was simply her needing to convey a message that would need sign language.

"Hi Grace," she smiled warmly, suddenly realizing this girl would understand everything Nat had experienced. Perhaps even more. "I'm Nat," she said. She looked around, finally setting her book down, the ultimate sign of her opening up. "Why didn't you go to Hogsmeade?" She asked curiously.

[grace]

Grace half-wondered why she felt so scared, the girl seemed friendly enough, though she had learned from her own life that not many people were trustworthy, until they had proved themselves it was best to be wary. Her father had made sure of that. Grace remembered that after he would hit her, he would tell her that other people would do much worse things, things that she really deserved. In a way, Grace still believed the words he had said. After all, if her own father could be so viciously cruel, surely strangers would have even less heart than he had. She suppressed a shudder, mentally reminding herself that daddy dearest was in the loony bin, he couldn't hurt her anymore.

Though of course, Grace felt the damage had already been done. Her voice had been taken from her, her confidence shattered, it was all she could do to not pass out from anxiety throughout the school day. She felt slightly more comfortable when the girl nodded, and gave her quite the genuine smile- introducing herself as Nat. Maybe she really was friendly. At least she hadn't displayed any signs of discomfort at her admitting right upfront about her muteness like most people did.

Grace nodded and returned the warm smile, as if to say that it was nice to meet her. It was times like these where she really did hate her inability to speak with anyone but family. It took a long time for her to build up the trust barrier to allow someone else to hear her voice. It had taken over a year for Grace to open up even to her adopted family. Now of course she couldn't shut up around them, but that was different. She took back the piece of paper and penned her response. I don't care much for crowds, I'd rather stay here, it's quiet. Grace wrote before handing the paper to Nat once more.

[natalia]

Nat nodded knowingly. How true that was. To hate crowds. She had a small fear, that with every step, someone knew was looking at her. She resisted the urge to raise a hand to her face, which had remained clean of bruises and scars since summer. Almost a whole year. Almost. She could barely wait for the day to mark a year living happily with Erik, and now with Elliot in the picture, she wondered if that was what every child in a family felt. But the phantom scars remained, as did the humiliation and shame that came with it. As if every person saw straight into her weak soul, seeing how she trembled. She hated her trembling.

Nat had read countless stories of far off places and wild adventures. Her favorites hadn't been where men had come to rescue the damsel. No, she had favored the girls that stood up and fought their ways to victory. She envied them. She envied those girls that strutted down the hall, knowing every eye was on them and reveled in it, ashamed of nothing. This time she allowed herself to touch her cheek gently, as in subconscious reassurance that she, too, ought to have nothing to shame herself over. She looked at Grace. Grace, who, as it had just dawned on her, might very well judge her the same way. But Nat couldn't assume that. Not of a girl that hid outwardly as she did inwardly.

"I understand," she smiled. Understatement of the century. She looked around, the garden not nearly as beautiful and lively as it would soon be. "What were you planning on doing here?" She frowned slightly. There was nothing to do, except shiver if you didn't come prepared for the early spring cold. She had armed herself with hours worth of reading, taking her spot here in defiance of winter, acknowledging that her garden would soon be alive once again.

[grace]

Grace ran a hand through her long, smooth blonde hair before instinctively tugging down her sleeve though it hadn't really moved. She was uncomfortable with even family seeing the scars the covered her entire body- let alone strangers. Though she did suddenly feel quite a bit more comfortable around Nat than other people, Grace wasn't going to let her guard down entirely. No, not at this phase. Though if the girl proved to not be any sort of a threat then perhaps they might be able to see each other again after this chilly morning. Spring was definitely coming, though winter's grasp had yet to be broken.

Though today there was sun, which was nice, Grace felt like she hadn't seen sunshine in a long time, even if it was relatively weak in March. Of course, with her naturally pale skin it was a good thing that the sun wasn't blaring like it was in the middle of summer. Grace never tanned, but rather burned and went straight back to white. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact she kept covered up all the time, to hide the ghosts of her past. She smiled softly when Nat said that she understood, it was good to know she wasn't the only person with an aversion to crowds.

Grace drew her cloak a bit more tightly around herself, it was too chilly outside for her to sit around with her cloak open. She took back the paper to pen her response. I'm not sure. I had planned on going to the Quiddith Pitch though the gardens seemed inviting. Grace handed the paper back, wishing there were a more convenient way for her to communicate, this was probably more hassle than what it needed to be.

[natalia]

Nat read the message thoughtfully. She couldn't picture Grace in the intense battle that was Quidditch. But then again, she didn't know much about Grace. Nor had she ever bothered to attend a Quidditch game. Flying lessons had terrified her her first year. One accident after the other happened, and she couldn't feel the ground. At all. She had hated it, whilst others had flown haphazardly about, other making it an art as they had grown up on broomsticks. She sighed, another reminder she was muggleborn, and in some people's eyes, lesser than them. She pushed the thoughts from her head. Erik had insisted they weren't true. They couldn't be true. But still, sometimes she lay at night, listening to the other girls giggle, while the brutal word mudblood floated in her mind. It never irritated her more than when that sorry Slytherin spat it. She was beginning to regret not having kicked him while he was down, showing him what it was like.

She ignored the angry thoughts that grew every time she thought of Quidditch, or other wizarding things she hadn't had the chance to experience. She felt deprived in a way. She looked up at Grace, who seemed to be growing irritated with the constant writing. Nat bit her lip, feeling a bit guilty. She had always taken her voice for granted. She saw that now. She always kept her voice to herself. "Oh, Do you play Quidditch?" She asked.

[grace]

Given her mostly antisocial nature, many people were surprised that Grace actually had a spot on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, and that she was actually good at the sport. It had been Nix who had inspired her to give it a try, and she found that she could work with a team quite well as long as she wasn't expected to speak. Now Grace couldn't imagine Hogwarts without it. Though she was fearful of social situations, she did still like the feeling of belonging to some sort of group, even if the other members of the team didn't spend time with her outside of practice. To her it felt that she was making progress, no matter how small.

Grace nodded, glad to be given a more yes or no type of question rather than something that involved a more articulate answer. Though she figured the question that would come next would be what position she played, so she took back the paper in a proactive way of answering the inquiry before it was said. I'm a chaser Grace wrote before passing the paper back to Nat. A thought crossed her mind if perhaps there might be a spell that would write out her thoughts for her, though if there was she didn't know it. Grace made a mental note to visit the library later to research that.

[natalia]

Nat read the message. She nodded, smiling. She had figured she would be a chaser or keeper. She couldn't see Grace beating people as a beater, and she knew the Seeker. The arrogant daughter of another famous seeker was in her Herbology class, and about as intelligent as a doll.

"I'll have to go see the next game then," she smiled. "Isn't there one next month?" She asked. All she knew was the castle was almost completely bare as the games went on, and she reveled in the peace and quiet. But if Grace could manage to be the center of attention, maybe it wasn't as bad as Nat had pictured in her head. Besides, she was intrigued to see Grace in action.

[grace]

Grace found the nod andsmile from the younger girl to be an encouraging sight. It was the disbelief, no skeptical question (You play Quidditch?) with a raised eyebrow, just acceptance. And perhaps even approval, though Grace figured that she might be imagining that. Though all the same this interaction was going much better than she had hoped it would, which was a pleasant change since things usually went the opposite that she hoped for. Grace smiled when Nat said that she would have to go and see the next game for herself. Their team had been performing fantastically this term, and were thus far undefeated.

In fact, should they beat Gryffindor that would automatically earn them the Quidditch cup, regardless whether Slytherin or Ravenclaw won the final match of the season. Grace nodded in response to Nat's question, grateful for another inquiry which she didn't have to write anything down to respond to it. Really, Grace was thrilled, someone outside her family seemed genuinely interested in watching her play. That was definitely a first, Grace hadn't really had any friends before- though she probably wouldn't use that term to describe Nat yet, it was the closest thing she had experienced.

[natalia]

Nat smiled softly. Grace hadn't seemed to reject anything Nat had said, nor had she shown any signs of the usual judging. That up and down glance, taking in her simple clothes, or the raised eyebrow signaling an inner scoff. Grace seemed too sweet. Seemed. She hated the cautious feeling she had, especially when speaking to someone like Grace. But she had been proven wrong, whether they were wizard or muggle.

"How long have you played?" She asked, hoping to gain an estimate on Grace's year. She wondered if the plastic cover that many girls wore, regardless of magic, was only for those younger girls in her courses. However she had seen older girls even more vicious than those she knew. But Grace seemed like the gentle kind that would be victimized by them, just as she had been.