open study {evelyn}

[evelyn amelia strauss]

Evelyn shifted a little in her seat, watching Gavin, trying to read him. She was incredibly curious about the way his mind worked. Being a Seer must have had both its ups and its downs. Biting her lip slightly, she sipped at her tea, savoring it. It was getting slightly cold as the cup became more empty, but she didn't think she was quite ready to see what the tea leaves resting at the bottom had to say about her and her life. The whole thing was actually incredibly intimidating, now that she was sitting here in the tower.

Evelyn was always curious as to how Divination worked. She'd been taught that it was a valid practice from her parents, who had always been avid believers in all things related to Divination, but society seemed to think differently. To the rest of the wizarding world, the practice was a bunch of hocus pocus, something that was to be laughed at. Evelyn didn't think so, and she found the subject to be incredibly intriguing. Divination was a lot more interesting now, however, since Gavin was in charge... Evelyn looked up and down discreetly, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

She knew it was wrong. He was her teacher. The age didn't bother her in the slightest, but she didn't want to mar any reputation that Gavin possessed. He was someone that many people were starting to look up to because of his position. Still, that was the only thing holding her back, at this point. Even then, she really wasn't too deterred from at least fantasizing about her teacher. That exercise had shoved everything ailing her to the back of her mind, and now she was free to think about all the compromising positions Gavin could put her in...

"Lovely."

Evelyn looked up, his voice breaking her from her fantasies. She found herself sensually biting her lip, and she quickly stopped, smiling at him. She nodded absently towards his empty tea cup, eyebrows raised slightly. "Can you tell me what your tea leaves say?"

[/color] she asked. Evelyn leaned forward slightly, genuinely curious as to what he was going to tell her. She looked up at him, a small smirk pulling at her lips. "For, you know... the private lesson, and everything... afterwards, we could give mine a try..."[/color] she added, carefully finishing the last of her tea before setting the small cup onto the desk, locking eyes on Gavin.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[gavin henry bertram]

Gavin wished that there weren't such restrictions on whom he was allowed to be intimate with- he wasn't used to fighting his feelings, and while it was doable, nothing that he couldn't handle, it felt... Unnatural. He was simply so used to following his heart (or indeed a place that was a bit further south on his body) when it came to people he found interesting. To not be able to do that was disheartening, though he felt that it might be a waste anyway, the girl might not even have interest in him in that particular way. It wasn't an altogether uncommon occurrence, he tended to be a bit dotty for mainstream preference.

That suited Gavin just fine, he didn't need men and women falling at his feet left and right. Just as long as he got love, he didn't need to be fawned over. Really, it was probably annoying, and he wasn't going to change who he was just to experience what he likely wouldn't enjoy. Where was the fun in that? Gavin was quite comfortable with himself, not afraid to be who he was and allow his quirks to shine through. Really, he found nothing wrong with them. Sure, his severe phobias could get in the way, but aside from those rare instances, he lead an unencumbered life.

What did it matter if he would take either a man or a woman to bed? Or if he would turn his teacup three times in an anticlockwise manner before drinking? It didn't effect anyone else whatsoever, it was fine. Gavin continued to cradle his now empty cup in his hands, not looking down at the leaves at the bottom, but continuing to meet Evelyn's gaze across his desk. He could feel the warmth in the porcelain fading away in absence of the tea, it was as if the cup was losing its life essence.

Sad, he almost wanted another cup, though Evelyn was more than sufficient of a distraction from something to keep his hands busy with. He smiled a bit at her words, though he didn't think things should go that way. "Actually," said Gavin, pausing as he unwrapped his fingers from his cup, and instead lightly slid it across the table to the radiant redhead, "predicting one's own future never goes quite right. Take your time, no notes, and tell me what you see." Gavin then brought his fingertips together, resting his chin upon them, and waiting to see what Evelyn might say.

[evelyn amelia strauss]

Evelyn watched Gavin, smiling faintly to herself. He returned her smile, and she found a warmth spreading from her chest and flowing outwards. He really was a fascinating man, someone that she wanted to know on a more personal level. The fact that he was her professor was really the only thing keeping her desires at bay. The age didn't really matter to her. Biting her lip, she watched him as he pushed his tea cup towards her. She raised an eyebrow, suddenly a little nervous. What on Earth was he going to do? Evelyn locked eyes with him, curious.

"Actually, predicting one's own future never goes quite right. Take your time, no notes, and tell me what you say."

Evelyn felt her throat tighten. She chewed on her bottom lip before nodding hesitantly. "Alright..."

[/color] she replied softly. She reached across the table, gently taking Gavin's cup in her hands. Taking a deep breath, she picked it up, careful not to disturb the tea leaves, and she began to examine the leaves. Tasseomancy wasn't exactly something that she was good at, but she figured that she needed to give it a go.

Suddenly, this became more than just a lesson on Divination. Evelyn wanted nothing more than to prove herself to Gavin, to impress him. It became imperative that she remember the information that she had learned, reading this correctly. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and trying to relax. Reading the tea leaves would be much easier if she could simply let go all her anxiety and let everything not get her so tightly wound.

Evelyn opened her eyes and peered into the cup. She bit her lip, eyebrows raised slightly. "I see... a sun..."[/color] she stammered, chewing violently on the inside of her cheek. What the hell did that mean? Taking a moment to suck in another deep breath, she looked up at Gavin, smiling nervously before turning her attention back to the cup. "I also see fire, and... I think that's a tortoise..? Yes, that's a tortoise."[/color] Evelyn gently rotated the cup, trying to see if there was anything else that she could see. After determining that was it, she attempted to remember what those meant.

"The sun indicates... a new beginning, I believe... the tortoise indicates... time passing slowly? No, that's not right..."[/color] Evelyn sighed, crinkling her nose in distaste. This was difficult, but she knew it didn't have to be. She looked at Gavin once more before closing her eyes, allowing herself to breathe slowly and deeply. Suddenly, it all flowed to her. She opened her eyes, focusing on the tea leaves. "The tortoise stands for lasting success, and the fire... indicates..."[/color]

Passion? Sexual desire? That had to be wrong... she bit her lip, choosing her words carefully. "The fire indicates passion for... something or someone,"[/color] she replied, sitting back and setting the cup down on the table. Evelyn tucked her hair behind her ears and looked at Gavin, smiling nervously.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[gavin henry bertram]

Gavin watched Evelyn looking into his cup for a moment, chin still resting upon his fingertips, before lightly closing his eyes. He found that depriving himself of physical stimuli did great things for the Sight, gave his brain fewer things to focus on, therefore making the workings of the Inner Eye easier to read. In an experiment done before his teaching years, Gavin had spent an entire month under spells to render him both blind and deaf- and needless to say his Seeing potential had increased exponentially. His visions had become more frequent, more intense, and far less encrypted. Really, it had been almost a blessing of sorts to be able to See that way, not have to put so much effort into it.

But it was largely impractical to try and live without two of the senses that humans relied on most, so his level of sensory deprivation these days would not be to quite that extreme. But Gavin could easily spend a good amount of time with his eyes closed or wearing earplugs, yet not be rendered to depending entirely on someone else to care for his needs. Gavin breathed deeply, allowing his mind to empty itself, though still was training his ears, they were perked for the lovely sound of Evelyn's voice.

While he waited, a vision dashed before his closed eyelids- the same snippet that he had gotten several times over for the past month or so. Just a colour, and a feeling, nothing else to go off of. Green, and a deeply-embedded sense of fear. It was just so odd, Gavin found that green was normally such a positive colour- associated with new life, fertility, and wealth. To see green and yet feel such bone-chilling horror was odd, it didn't make much sense. Gavin frowned slightly, as if in deep thought, but didn't open his eyes. He just wished more of that particular puzzle would reveal itself to him- one could only get so far with two small, seemingly uncorrelated, details.

He kept his eyelids lightly closed as Evelyn began to speak, it was almost in a clinical way, as if she were referring to some sort of memorized data bank in the back of her mind, something painstakingly memorized. It nearly broke his heart to hear someone speak that way when attempting to divine things, it shouldn't be so difficult, it was all about what was felt, not what was thought. Nevertheless, it was a place to start, and Gavin found his approach to the subject was quite a bit more abstract than what most were used to.

For so long Divination had been forced into this linear box, turned almost mathematical in nature. It was going to take a long time to undo that sort of thinking, especially given that everyone seemed so keen on having their order, being able to file everything away neatly. To Gavin that wasn't nearly so important. Sun, fire, and tortoise. An odd combination he had to admit, odd, but not unheard of. "Interesting..." Gavin said lightly, still keeping his eyes shut, "now these things aren't in an of themselves separate boxes, somehow they... come together, so to speak, to make a full story, or at least part of one. Tell me what you," he paused a moment, removing one of his hands from beneath his chin to make a small, nonsensical gesture, "feel they mean when linked together."

[evelyn amelia strauss]

Evelyn bit her lip, mentally screaming at herself. She could see it in Gavin's eyes, he was disappointed in what she'd said. She'd relied too much on the information that she'd studied from her notes and her books, not relying on how she had felt. Divination was tricky in that regard, especially for someone like Evelyn. She didn't tend to dwell much on her intuition and feelings, she was actually a fairly logical person in regards to school. That was going to be the hardest part for her in regards to Divination...

Evelyn watched Gavin, hoping that he wouldn't criticize her too harshly for what she'd said. He seemed to watch her for a long time, and it was making her anxious. It was unbearable, knowing that she seemed to be disappointing him. For whatever reason, it was breaking her heart. The thought of letting this beautiful man down was causing her physical and emotional turmoil. She sat there, biting her lip anxiously as she sat there waiting for him to speak, hoping that she didn't look nearly as impatient as she was feeling.

"Interesting... now these things aren't in an of themselves separate boxes, somehow they... come together, so to speak, to make a full story, or at least part of one. Tell me what you feel they mean when linked together."

Evelyn bit the inside of her cheek, looking at Gavin. She hesitated, then nodded. "I can do that..."

[/color] she replied. She glanced back into the cup, examining the tea leaves. What the hell did those things have in common? The sun and tortoise were fairly easy to connect, but the fire proved to be more difficult. She sat in silence for a moment or two, trying to piece all the information together. Finally, it all seemed to come together for her.

"Well, the sun is fairly obvious. You've just started teaching here, it's a new start to the next chapter in your life. The tortoise was a bit trickier, but it points towards your building and lasting success as both a Seer and as the Divination professor here at the school,"[/color] Evelyn replied, the words coming forth from her lips in a fashion that she didn't realize she was capable of. The moment she started to feel what everything meant, the moment the words just started flowing from her mouth.

"And the fire,"[/color] Evelyn continued, "Points to your passion for the subject, your passion for making this beautiful art something that's appreciated in the school. It also could point to a..."[/color] she paused, hesitating. She took a deep breath before continuing. "It also could point to a physical desire towards someone,"[/color] she replied, biting her lip before looking up at Gavin expectantly.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[gavin henry bertram]

Gavin began humming very quietly, a nonsensical tune that he was making up as he went along, not out of disrespect, but out of it being another of his random quirks. He liked the noise that humming made, the sensation it made in his mouth from the back of his throat all the way to his lips. And he never did it loudly, just with barely enough volume to be heard if one was relatively close. He finally opened his eyes once more as Evelyn began to speak, getting both the impression that he wasn't going to get any more clues regarding the colour green that kept cropping up, and he was quite interested in what the young Gryffindor was going to say.

He stopped humming abruptly, and in doing something that he hardly ever did, gave the redhead his undivided attention. Gavin was one of those people who was usually doing several things at the same time- paced while he thought, made frivolous hand gestures while he spoke, but for now he was still, his warm brown gaze fixed on the girl that he found so intoxicating. Gavin had been attracted to people before, enough so to get to know them in a very physical way, but this time was different.

Was it strictly because he wasn't allowed to have her? Or was it for some other reason entirely? Whatever it was, Gavin had no idea, but it saddened him to have to fight it. Oppressing attraction to someone else was never a good thing, he was convinced, not healthy for the soul. Affections should be shared, not held back because society might dictate said feelings inappropriate. Sure, there were lines he wouldn't dream of crossing, but this didn't seem like it should be one of those cases. They were both adults- granted, Evelyn only barely so- but what did it matter that she was his student?

A small smile played across his lips as Evelyn drew the connections, something about this particular thought process seemed a lot more genuine- as if it were coming from her own mind rather than from a memorized table in a textbook. That truly was a beautiful thing. Gavin was one of those rare teachers- one that had absolutely no interest in having textbooks repeated back to them. In his mind, learning and memorization were separate things entirely. He was much more interested in hearing unique thoughts, having the pupils come to their own conclusions.

And, in a way, Gavin figured that it was more rewarding for them. Memorization only did so much- he wanted them to open their minds, unlock their true potential. Though Gavin, was much more focused on Evelyn at the moment than his thoughts of how to teach a class. "Lovely," said Gavin quietly, locking his eyes with hers.

[evelyn amelia strauss]

"Lovely."

Evelyn tried very hard not to make her sigh of relief visible. She smiled happily at Gavin, proud of herself. He seemed impressed at her attempt, and it caused a sense of elation to bubble up inside of her. His approval really was a beautiful thing and she was incredibly happy that he had enjoyed her display of emotional connection to the subject. She was beginning to feel what it was that he meant, about Divination being something you felt, not something you memorized, and it was making the subject all the more fascinating.

Something about Divination had always sparked her interest, but now that she was beginning to get a feel for it, she felt as though nothing could stop her. She felt an unusual warmth spread through her chest, causing her to smile brightly. This was the happiest that she had felt in months, and it was a feeling that she hadn't realized that she had missed. Now, if only Gavin could give her a sign that he was physically attracted to her the way that she was to him, Evelyn would be able to go back to her room and have the sleep that had been eluding her for so long.

Gavin really was an extraordinary person, and she felt all the more drawn to him because of their little private lesson. There wasn't anything she could do, or would do, until she knew that he felt the same way that she did. Silently, Evelyn was praying that Gavin would give her some sort of sign. She watched him, allowing silence to fill the air in a comfortable fashion before her eyes slowly trailed down towards her empty tea cup. She'd nearly forgotten about it.

Gavin still had to read her tea leaves. The thought produced a form of anxiety. What on Earth would he read from her cup? He'd put the pieces together and find out something that she didn't want him to know, she was sure of it. Biting her lip, Evelyn found herself no longer as ecstatic as she had previously been. She felt the silence grow slightly uncomfortable in her nervousness and she quickly reached forward to pick up her cup. Turning it anxiously in her hands, she looked up at Gavin before reaching over to hand him the cup.

"I suppose it's your turn to read my tea leaves,"

[/color] Evelyn said, smiling softly at Gavin. She hoped the anxiety that she felt wasn't as palpable in the air as she believed it to be. Her nervousness seemed to hang about in the air, ominously, teasing her. She cleared her throat anxiously before smiling weakly up at Gavin. "Well?"[/color][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[gavin henry bertram]

Gavin couldn't help the smile on his lips, really it was adorable to see Evelyn so pleased with herself, he had to wonder- had she perhaps been looking to impress him? Well there was a thought. His mind was tempting him with dangerous things- though really, what was the worst that could happen? He'd lose his job, sure, all those years of hard work would likely go to waste, but then he could return to the commune, and select whomever he pleased to shower with his affections. But then what would become of his work on bringing Divination back into scholarly spotlight? He'd be even more of a laughing stock to the academic community, nobody would ever take him seriously again.

Gavin was torn, he wanted very much to continue on the path he was on- but did he want to sacrifice something that could potentially be very gratifying in a physical sense? Thankfully, he was given a distraction in the form of Evelyn directing things back onto their impromptu lesson, giving him her cup. Gavin took it in both hands, doing his three signature anticlockwise turns before gazing down into the cup, keen eyes sliding over the arrangement the leaves had settled into, frowning in concentration.

It wasn't exactly a happy cup, not sinister, and yet at the same time, hopeful in a sense. Definitely an intriguing combination. "Violin, lock, circle, needle, and... nail..." Gavin muttered to himself, turning the cup around a bit. He blinked a moment, quieting his own thoughts to allow his subconscious the opportunity to pipe in, piece together the pieces of Evelyn's particular puzzle. He wanted to know what made her work, and he knew one teacup couldn't crack an entire person, it could at least lay the foundations for greater understanding. Things came piece by piece, bit by bit, it was foolish to expect to get everything at once.

"Life has treated you unfairly, hasn't it, duck?" Gavin muttered, turning the cup slowly to examine the picture from all angles. He paused, continuing to look, coming up with possible readings in his mind, and a moment later, after deciding on what felt most correct, continued speaking. "The nail is faint, something that already happened I presume, something you didn't deserve," said Gavin, feeling concern. What was effecting this lovely young lady? "Something with an unpleasant repair I daresay..." He didn't look up from the cup for any affirmations that he was right, this felt too correct for it to be anything but.

"But something is preventing you from the circle, completion, something which you feel, but don't admit." Gavin concluded it with that, only then setting down the cup. Out of everything else in the cup, however, the violin was the piece interesting him most. What feelings on the matter did Evelyn need to allow to the surface?

[evelyn amelia strauss]

This was everything Evelyn had been dreading. All her fears that had been locked tightly away in the back of her mind were resurfacing as Gavin took the cup from her hands. He turned it thrice in hand before gazing intimately into the cup, reading her leaves. There was something in his expression that she couldn't read, but it wasn't anything she would have liked to see. She anxiously wrung her hands in her lap, not meeting his gaze as she awaited his reading. It was beginning to get almost painful, and she was absolutely terrified.

Evelyn knew that this had been a bad idea, but she'd went through with it, both because of her need in the subject, and because of her attraction to Gavin. It was making her uncomfortable, and she bit her lip harshly as she closed her eyes. Why was his reading taking so long? Evelyn glanced up at Gavin cautiously, finding him watching her with an intense curiosity. She tried desperately to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat as she anxiously awaited the news of what her tea leaves had told him about her life and inner being.

"Violin, lock, circle, needle, and... nail... Life has treated you unfairly, hasn't it, duck? The nail is faint, something that already happened, I presume, something you didn't deserve, something with an unpleasant repair, I daresay... But something is preventing you from the circle, completion, something which you feel, but don't admit..."

Evelyn swallowed harshly, chewing harshly on the inside of her cheek. When she was sure that he wasn't going to continue for the time being, she glanced upwards hesitantly, blinking away the nervous tears that had begun flooding her eyes. She adverted her gaze harshly, letting an uncomfortable silence shroud them. Evelyn really had no idea what it was that she could say about what he'd said. He wasn't wrong, not in the slightest, and now he knew more than anyone else did. Even her aunt and uncle had no idea the turmoil she was in over her parents' deaths.

"You'd be correct,"

[/color] Evelyn replied softly after a long period of silence. She blinked her eyes dry and looked at Gavin, putting on a brave face. All her past cheerfulness had disappeared. She knew that it was only a matter of time before one or two things happened; Gavin would either finish her reading or wouldn't ponder any further. The worst possible scenario would be Gavin inquiring about what was troubling her. Part of her didn't want that and was actually pained by the idea, but part of her, albeit a small part, wanted someone to ask, someone to talk to about what she was feeling, what she was experiencing...[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[gavin henry bertram]

Gavin was almost regretting having read Evelyn's cup, now that he was looking up at her, it was almost painful to see the way she was reacting to what he had said. He knew that he had gotten it nearly exact, at least the feeling portion of it anyway. He knew that something painful had happened to her, something that she was still working through, and wouldn't be able to do so until she allowed her feelings free reign, but he had no specifics. What was troubling her so? Gavin hated seeing the tears in her eyes, it made him want to go and punch something until she was happy again.

He was vaguely surprised by his own manner of thinking, to him it didn't make much sense. It seemed very conventional male to him, and Gavin had always been anything but. Though it seemed she was bringing out an almost primitive quality in him. He wanted to take whatever was making her hurt so badly and fix it. Was that too much to ask? He hoped not, he hoped he would allow her to help. Seeing her like this was almost painful. For once in his life Gavin wished he were normal about touch, he wanted to take her up in his arms, no doubt the poor thing needed it, though that was a mental barrier he couldn't cross.

Gavin couldn't even reach across the table to take her hand, that was asking too much of him, made him too nervous. He wasn't sure if he could put up with that skin-crawling feeling that came only with benign contact, not even for Evelyn who he found so thoroughly fascinating. Such was the nature of dealing with a lifelong phobia, he supposed... The moment had become decidedly more tense, no longer relaxed, he could feel all the negative emotions building- and the redhead's aura, which had once been so lovely was now almost pushing him away.

He regretted what he had done, he wanted what they had had earlier back, though there was no reversing it now, they'd simply have to press on and hope that things hadn't been damaged beyond repair. Gavin didn't want to think that he'd ruined his chances. Or well, whatever chances he had had to begin with. It was silly of him to think this way, she was his student, they weren't supposed to do this. And really, in the improper context even this one-on-one lesson could be taken the wrong way by someone who didn't have all the details. "It's not good to hold back," said Gavin, pulling a patchwork handkerchief from one of his desk drawers, he laid it on the desk between them, "you don't have to say who or what, but don't restrain your feelings. There's no judgement here." He hoped that would work.

[evelyn amelia strauss]

Evelyn watched as Gavin seemed to be having his own internal struggle about what had transpired between them. She bit her lip, looking down at her lap as she pondered her options. This had gone too far south for her tastes, and yet, something was keeping her from leaving, from forgetting that this whole thing had happened. It was Gavin, his presence, he was far too compelling to simply leave alone, especially with all that he knew, which, in retrospect, wasn't really all that much. Regardless of how little he knew, Gavin knew a lot more than anyone else.

Evelyn could feel the tell-tale signs of a panic attack coming on. Her chest tightened and her throat clenched up. She closed her eyes tightly, holding onto her abdomen as she softly rocked in her chair, wishing the feelings away. She couldn't have this happen in his office, she wouldn't let it. Of course, Gavin knew the basis of everything. What was the use in hiding her problems anymore, especially since he was on the track to finding out everything anyway. Evelyn sucked in deep, shaking breaths as she tried to get a grip on the panic attack that was slowly beginning to wash over her.

"It's not good to hold back. You don't have to say who or what, but don't restrain your feelings. There's no judgement here."

Evelyn opened her eyes. Gavin's soothing words had calmed her down, almost magically. She peered up cautiously at him, seeing that he had taken a handkerchief on the table between them. Hesitantly, she scooped it up, holding the silky, quilted material in her hands. She didn't need to dry her tears, she simply held it tightly, looking down her lap. What harm in there was telling him what was ailing her? Revealing everything to this handsome man was beginning to sound a lot better than sitting in uncomfortable silence as she resisted the urge to bolt like a deer in headlights...

"I've been having panic attacks lately... I've developed a severe phobia of the dark and of being alone with a lack of knowledge... and it's all because... because..."

[/color] Evelyn hesitated, swallowing the lump in her throat. She paused, forcing the words out of her lips. "Both of my parents were Aurors, and they were found dead a month ago. The Ministry says that it was a freak thing, that it was an accident... but I think it has something to do with the Dark Mark appearing..."[/color] she finished. It was only then that she realized how shallow her breathing had gotten, how tight her chest felt. She sucked in shaky breaths and tightly wrung the handkerchief in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut. "And that's the first time I've told anyone. So... forgive me if I suddenly have an episode in your office,"[/color] Evelyn added hastily, shaking slightly from the effort of keeping the attack at bay.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[gavin henry bertram]

Gavin waited, his gaze was fixed upon Evelyn in a gentle sort of way. Words couldn't describe how much he wanted to take away the suffering that she was in, though he knew there was relatively little that he was capable of doing. That was depressing, in a way. Gavin had never really had these sorts of feelings before. He'd been attracted to people, yes, allowed himself to cave because of pure physical lust, but he'd never had genuine feelings, not really. Never anyone that he wanted to take under his proverbial wing, shelter from the woes of the world, make sure that nothing ever hurt them.

It was, of course, foolish to think in such ideals. Even with someone he felt about this way for the first time in his life. Evelyn was the forbidden fruit, just a taste would ruin everything. Sure, a sympathetic hug, which would likely be more than appreciated by the emotionally unstable redhead, might not be taken in that way- but he couldn't get over himself to provide that. The mere idea of it nearly sent him into a small panic attack of his own. Gavin had a few phobias himself, odd ones, mostly, but they were crippling all the same, just as much as the ones that made sense.

The silence was weighing heavily on him, he wished that Evelyn would do something rather than sit there, arms around herself as if attempting to hold herself together. It was breaking his heart, and he didn't know how to help her. That was perhaps the most difficult part about this encounter. Gavin wasn't often entirely clueless, and when he was it seemed that he wanted nothing more than to have at least some idea of how to fix things. He shouldn't have read her cup, made this lesson more about what she could come up with.

Though he couldn't deny that he had been curious... But he could have left the cup for later, looked at the symbols littering the bottom of her cup after she had left. Hindsight was always twenty-twenty he supposed... But what to do in the current situation? Gavin really had no idea. Thankfully, however, Evelyn began to speak, which came as something of a relief to him. He had the feeling that she wasn't exactly in the habit of sharing her innermost struggles with other people.

Well, most people weren't, though Gavin was never shy about admitting when he was struggling. He liked knowing that he could ask for help when he needed it. "Life has treated you unfairly," Gavin said gently, and in being brave, pulled his brilliantly blue sleeve over his hand and reached across the table, taking her hand in his own, though was thankfully able to keep from freaking out owing to the barrier of fabric. There, a bit of a loophole in his irrational fear. "You do whatever you need to do- like I said, no judgement here."

[evelyn amelia strauss]

While Evelyn was completely devastated that the words had flowed so easily from her lips, she couldn't help but feel a small sense of relief. She hadn't realized just how difficult keeping the truth from everyone was, nor did she think it would have taken as large of a toll on her as it obviously had. Maybe that was what was making everything worse... she refused to acknowledge this fact too much, however. Only Gavin could know, only one person, this man in front of her. He was the only person she felt that she could trust with her secrets.

Evelyn closed her eyes, body trembling under the pressure she was exerting on herself not to have an episode in front of Gavin. She bit her lip and waited for the tremors to stop, waiting for the pain in her chest to disappear and the lump in her throat to shrink. She desperately wanted the hammering in her chest to stop, wanted to feel normal and healthy again. This was all making her feel rather weak, and she despised it. Evelyn just wanted to go back to feeling the way she did before her parents were taken from her.

She sat in silence, trying desperately not to have a full-blown panic attack in Gavin's office. She hadn't expected anything to come out of his mouth. He was a kind man, he would probably let her grieve. Still, it came as a shock to her when she felt his hand, covered in his silky blue robe, grasp onto hers gently. Evelyn looked up, tears in her eyes, completely shocked by this turn of events.

"Lifehas treated you unfairly. You do whatever you need to do - like I said, no judgment here."

Evelyn smiled softly, grateful for his kind words. She wanted nothing more than to hug - or, better yet, kiss - him for his generosity in kindness. However, as much as she wanted to, she refrained. It could cause more problems, and she figured that making decisions while she was feeling this way wasn't a smart idea. Biting her lip, she very gently squeezed his covered hand with her own, smiling sadly at him and blinking away her tears. "Thank you so much, Gavin..."

[/color] Evelyn said, voice soft.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[gavin henry bertram]

Gavin lightly bit his lip, he wasn't used to having such an intense conflict of emotions within him. And having that conflict being the result of his position was something new entirely. If the circumstances were different he wouldn't be having this issue at all, he'd simply take Evelyn up in his arms and cover her with kisses until she was content. Of course, that would mean actually having to touch her- beyond this meager attempt at holding her hand with the sleeve of his robe preventing any skin-on-skin contact. Really, Gavin found it a wonder that he had ever expressed love in an intimate way with anyone.

Though somehow when things got passionate, Gavin was able to flip some sort of metaphoric switch in his brain. Sex, he found, was a beautiful thing, and all the touching associated with it was quite lovely, but any other sort of contact... forget it. That was simply too much, and that was all there was to it. But this, holding Evelyn's hand with the robe between them, this was fine. Her pathogens were staying on her own hand, not having any contact with his. Really, his split-second decision was brilliant. Not the same as actual touch, but it worked.

Gavin merely watched Evelyn with that same gentle gaze, feeling his heart continuing to break for her, the poor thing. Didn't she have anyone else she could bring this to? A close friend, maybe? Whomever she was staying with in the absence of her parents? Surely he couldn't be the only one, surely. Though for the moment Gavin would act as if he were, and make sure that Evelyn didn't feel alone in what she was going through. Like it or not, by coming to him this afternoon the redhead had, in a way, sealed her fate. She wasn't going to be rid of him easily now.

Though something told him that the Gryffindor wanted him in her life, and that he found exciting in a way. He couldn't have her, he knew that, was continually repeating it in his mind, but that didn't mean he wasn't allowed to spend time with her. "Of course, dear," said Gavin, returning the squeeze of her hand.

[evelyn amelia strauss]

((OOC: Anything else you'd like to do with this thread...?? My muse is kind of dead with this one.))