Secrets revealed {MARCUS}

[merlin]

Seth couldn't believe his luck. They had lasted six months now, half a year longer then Seth honestly thought they'd last. Granted, Seth had never expected for Marcus to actually agree to start dating him in the first place. These past six months though had proven it to be well worth it. After their first date together everything had worked out almost perfectly. Seth and Marcus got along well, Seth being the more out spoken one who managed to get Marcus to come out of his shell just a little at a time.

Tonight marked their half year anniversary and Seth had figured that that was worth celebrating. But not just that, Marcus had also Graduated last month! Seth was so proud of the other and regretted being unable to celebrate this event sooner. However Marcus had needed to get a job and after that finding time in both of their schedules that was after dark had proven nearly impossible up until this point. As far as Seth figured it though, the wait was worth it. Seeing Marcus always made Seth feel happier, almost to the point of being giddy. If not for fear of scaring the poor shy boy away Seth would probably spaz out every time he saw Marcus because of how happy and excited Seth would get. Seth mostly blamed his vampirisim for these extreme reactions though. Even after six months he still had a hard time controlling his emotions.

The ring of the bell as the door opened and the waft of scent distracted Seth from his thoughts as he turned to look at the man who had just walked in. Seth loved the smell of Marcus. It was a wild scent that Seth had never been able to find except for on Marcus. Being able to smell it was one of the best parts of being a vampire. The scent of intoxicating and at times Seth would catch himself sniffing at Marcus in an attempt to breath in more of that wonderful scent of Marcus. But it was not just the scent that Seth loved the sight of Marcus was just as perfect as his scent.

"Marcus," Seth called so that Marcus could come and join him at his small table. Seth was already grinning happily as he watch Marcus walk towards him.

[skymole]

"Hi Seth," Marcus said with a small smile sitting down at the table. They'd been together so long, but Marcus never got tired of seeing him. They were going to celebrate his graduation and being together for six months. Unfortunately, Marcus had something to talk to him about first and he didn't really know how Seth would react.

"Before we really get to anything Seth... I have to talk to you about something." Marcus still wasn't good at tactfully bringing up things like these so now seemed as good as ever to tell Seth what he knew. "When we started seeing each other, actually a week before that, I noticed something changed about you. You used to work all shifts you could, but then you switched to just the night shifts. You used to eat every four hours, but in the passed six months I haven't seen you eat anything." Marcus may be horrible at social contexts, but details and patterns he noticed. He leaned in a bit looking directly into Seth's eyes. "You're paler, and sometimes... I see you quickly back away from me looking afraid. Seth, I know what you are..."

[merlin]

All the happiness Seth had felt when Marcus had walked into the cafe disappeared as Marcus listed all the things he had noticed up until this point. Happiness was replaced with fear as Seth starred at Marcus. The other knew. Seth stopped breathing and his hold on the table tightened until there was a finger pattern in the plastic where his hand were. Marcus knew he was a monster. His happiness was over. This was when Marcus tried to explain in a calm sort of manner that he didn't want to be around a monster because it was dangerous. This was when everyone else learned his secret and he was thrown out of society for being a vampire.

Seths body forced him to breath in his panic as it searched for new scents, new dangers to be aware of. But with that gasp of a breath Seth also caught Marcus' scent and Seth suddenly felt like crying. This was the end he knew would come. He had to leave now before Marcus said anything more. Seth couldn't handle listening to Marcus tell him what sort of horrible monster he was! Seths body began to tremble as Seth tried to get himself to move but found that he couldn't.

"I'm sorry," Seth murmured as he averted his eyes so that he no longer needed to look at Marcus. That had also been the first thing Seth had told his sisters when they had learned he was a vampire. Seth felt a need to apologize for being a monster. If only he had managed to be more careful, to avoid making these connections to people. Perhaps if he had kept his feelings to Marcus a secret then Marcus would have never known about him. Seth didn't know and was now afraid of what Marcus would do next.

[skymole]

Marcus saw Seth trying to leave and felt that maybe he should've phrased it better. But he couldn't think of that right now, he had to make Seth understand before he regained control of his legs. "No Seth, wait." he said his hand sliding quickly across the table and grasping Seth's in a desperate attempt to keep him sitting. "I don't care. I know you wouldn't hurt me. Don't apologize, it wasn't your fault. Please don't leave..."

Marcus's eyes were fixated on Seth's face trying to make eye contact. He wouldn't let Seth just run away. He wasn't afraid. Not of Seth at least. What he was afraid of was losing the closest person he had. "I won't tell anyone, I swear."

[merlin]

Seth felt caged and claustrophobic. He could see the movement of Marcus' hand in slow motion and jerked his arms away before Marcus had managed to reach half way across the table. Seth couldn't let the other touch him. Instead Seth wrapped his arms around himself in a tight hug in hopes of restraining himself. Seth needed to calm down and listen to Marcus. Seth wasn't safe around humans when he became panicky. It would be safer if he just left, yes he should just leave but Marcus didn't want him to. All Seth wanted to do was keep Marcus safe and happy but wasn't sure how he could do that in this situation. If he stayed then Marcus would be happy but not safe while on the other hand if he left Marcus would be safe but not happy. What was Seth meant to do in this situation?

"You don't understand what your saying," Seth said as he continued to avoid eye contact. Marcus was still young, fresh out of school in fact. He had probably never even knowingly met a vampire until now! Marcus had no idea what sort of danger Seth had put him through. Seth could hurt Marcus without even meaning to. It was all Seths fault and he should have been adult enough not to of gotten into a relationship with the other in the first place. But now Seth didn't want to let the other go, he loved Marcus so much!

[skymole]

"I do know what I'm saying!" Marcus said not giving in. "I've read all about them and my uncle has a friend who's one. I know what I'm doing. And I know you. You're the most caring, hard-working, carefull person I know. Don't leave Seth, please..." Marcus wasn't going to give up. He knew it was dangerous, but Seth was the safest person Marcus knew even with being turned.

[merlin]

Seth almost wanted to laugh at that naive statement. So Marcus figured that if he read enough books and knew someone who knew someone that he could understand? Seth loved oh naive Marcus could be at times but this was not one of those times. This was to serious of a situation for Marcus to be spouting off such nonsense! Seth had put on a fake mask in hopes of pretending to be human, Marcus only knew that mask and not the monster that lay hidden by it. Marcus didn't know what Seth was forced to do in order to get food and survive. Yes Seth loved Marcus more than anything else but love couldn't solve all of their problems.

"Obviously not careful enough," Seth hissed in frustration. Now that he thought about it, if Marcus could figure out he was a vampire who else had noticed? Seth wouldn't be surprised if another healer knew about his secret as well at this point. He hadn't been as careful as he had originally hoped to be it seemed. Perhaps it would be a good idea to leave the country soon like his master suggested he do. Seth had been hoping that he wouldn't need to but at the same time Seth couldn't risk being outed as a vampire. If everyone knew he was a monster then live would change and not in a positive way.

Seth let out a soft growling sound as he lifted his hands and put his face into them as he tried to think. This date wasn't supposed to turn out like this. They'd been together for half a year and now it was all falling apart. Seth took in a deep breath and raked his fingers through his hair as he sat up and looked at Marcus. "You are ignorant and naive but I still love you," Seth said bluntly, feeling a need to voice his thoughts and reasons before he went crazy trying to suppress them. "I am a monster Marcus. I blood sucking leech that is just as likely to kill you as kiss you. I am dangerous and I am not healthy for you. But god do I love you," Seths voice softened as he finally met the others eyes. "And as long as you ask me too I will not leave you."

[skymole]

Marcus deflated at Seth's harsh statements. Was that the wrong thing to say? Dammit he's gone and said the wrond thing! Nowhe's made Seth even more upset. What could he do? Seth probably knew what was best... Maybe he should give in...

"I don't want you to go... but if you don't want to stay, I can't make you." Marcus looked down at the table then back up to Seth his fist clenched under the table. "I want what's best for you, and if that means you leaving then go. I..." he almost said 'I love you' but that would make it harder for Seth to do what was right for him.

Marcus felt as if his heart was shattering apart. He didn't want Seth to leave him, but he wasn't going to be selfish... he couldn't. He had to shut down his emotion and let his rational brain take over. This was something he'd been able to do his whole life, but this was the first time it had ever been hard for him. He still had to try though, for Seth...

[merlin]

Seth could practically see as each emotion was shut off in Marcus. Seth had to stop it and did the first action that came time mind. In a brief moment Seth had managed to reach across the table and put a hand on both sides of Marcus' face and pulled the other forward to kiss him lightly before pulling him just as quickly.

"Don't you ever feel the need to shut yourself down with me," Seth said firmly, hoping the shock of the kiss would help stop that emotional shut off thing Marcus did. Seth never wanted to see Marcus look so shut off from the world! Surely it must be bad for Marcus to just shut himself down like that? It would surely save the other from a lot of pain but at the same time it would make it so much harder for Marcus to understand the world. How could they have an emotional conversation like they were currently if Marcus shut himself down like that? Seth knew he was hurting the other with his harsh blunt words but Seth had needed to say them to the other just like Marcus had needed to tell him that he had known his secret.

Seth knew and understood that Marcus was not an overly emotionally expressive person but this was different. It was okay to not show your emotions but everyone still needed to have those emotions! "What I meant to say," Seth said, still holding Marcus' face in his hands as gently as he could. "That I am a monster and would understand it if at any point in the future you want to run away. I will stay with you for as long as you will have me just know that if you ever change your mind, if you ever become afraid of me then just say so and I'll leave."

Seth couldn't think of a more direct way of saying it and hoped that by using those words it would better convey his thoughts to the other. Marcus could never pressure Seth into doing anything, no one could. Seth just felt a need to explain that Marcus would always have a way out if he needed it. Marcus was somewhat naive and if as time passed and he learned what being around a monster was truly like and wished to leave then it would be okay and Seth wouldn't begrudge the other this choice.

[skymole]

Marcus's thought process, his dismay, everything around him vanished as thier lips met. For one perfect, shining moment everything was right with the world and nothing else exsisted. Then it was gone. Marcus looked at Seth and had to focus hard to hear what he was saying.

"Then you'll be here for a very long time," Marcus said breathlessly, "because I'll never want you to leave." His voice was low and soft. He meant every word he said. He knew this would be hard, and dangerous, and might even kill him. But Marcus didn't care. He wasn't afraid. And even if he was it wouldn't stop him. When you care about something or someone enough you do everything you can to keep it. That was a rule for the Muggle AND Magical world.

[merlin]

Seth was relived to note that the kiss had worked apparently. Hearing the others breathless voice made Seth smile happily as he heard Marcus' words. Looked like this date would turn out to be a happy one after all. Seth wasn't sure how he had managed to end up being that lucky guy who Marcus claimed but Seth was truly grateful. So many people would have cursed and yelled at Seth when they learned that he was a vampire and to see the person he loved accept him made Seth feel a sense of relief. The people who he needed to accept him the most had. His siblings didn't care and Marcus loved him. Seth now knew what people were talking about when they spoke of unbelievable happiness.

"So how is life now that you are finished with school?" Seth asked as he suddenly changed the subject. He let go of Marcus' face and instead contented himself with just holding Marcus' hands instead. Seth figured that he needed to touch Marcus still and holding hands would be the more acceptable choice instead of continuing to hold his face. Plus now the few muggles who had been starring at them could finally look away.

"You get a job yet? And you still living with your parents or have you moved out on your own yet?" Seth asked casually. He secretly had a plan for their relationship. He set number of dates where he would make their relationship move forward. Seth had marked the half year mark with them possibly moving in together, after all Marcus would be moving out of his parents house soon anyway so why not move into a house with Seth? Seth also figured that at this point he would start talking to Marcus and see what the other thought about them making their relationship more open. Seth wasn't sure who all Marcus had told but Seth hadn't told anyone yet. He had intended to tell his two younger sisters Violet and Wren but plans had changed when they learned he was a vampire instead. Seth figured them learning he was a vampire was enough news for the both of them without adding to the fact that he was gay and dating someone five years younger then him. The age wasn't that bad but the problem was more of how they met and started dating...

[skymole]

Marcus was glad for the return to normalcy of the conversation. For several minutes Marcus had been terrified that he was going to los Seth. He slowly let himself relax convincing himself that it was safe now.

"I applied at the Magical Menagerie in Diagon Alley but I'm still waiting to hear back. I want to be an animal attendant. Once I get a job, I'm going to save up to find a place to live. Ant suggestions? I'm not really knowledgable about... our type of residences." Marcus had lowered his voice a bit. They'd just caused quite the scene for the little cafe so Marcus was slightly worried about talking Magical world stuff surrounded by all the Muggles.

[merlin]

Seth grinned, so the other had yet to find a place of his own. Well then Seths next suggestion would work out perfectly for them or at least Seth hoped it would. Seth had almost walked out of here and now he wanted to suggest that they move in together. Marcus may feel pressured or rushed which Seth wanted to avoid. Perhaps suggesting a nice neighbor hood would be enough and Seth could just wait to ask Marcus to live with him? Seth was not used to feeling undecided about anything. He was a Gryfindor at heart and was more likely to act and then think later but this was different. If Seth screwed up he'd lose Marcus. But Seth was willing to take the chance this time!

"Well I need to move out of the apartments I'm living in right now since I figure they are a little small. But the problem is that I can't afford a house all by myself so I was looking for a room mate," Seth let his sentence trail off as he averted his eyes once more. With a deep breath Seth felt his courage return so that he could finish his sentence and ask Marcus the question.

"Would you like to move in together Marcus?" Seth asked, looking back at Marcus to see the others response. Marcus was like an open book to Seth so Seth would hopefully see each emotion the other felt as they happened. Seth wanted to make sure that what ever answer Marcus gave him the other was being honest.

[skymole]

Marcus blinked several times. "Uh..." was all he could say as his brain worked quickly through all the possibilities. On one hand, he'd love to move in with Seth. They'd be able to spend more time together and be closer. It would also be cheaper and safer. The more Wizards under one roof the better, and his parents wouldn't have to worry about him being lonely (though Marcus was hardly ever unhappy to be alone).

On the other hand, this was a huge step and an experience that Marcus wasn't sure he could handle right now. He really cared for Seth, but he wasn't sure about getting this intimate right now. That and he somewhat dreaded what his parents would do if they found out that Marcus was going to move in with Seth. He hadn't told them about them dating but it would be only so long before his uncle exploded the "happy news" to them.

Only about a minute and a half had gone by while he thought before he came out of his processing and said, "Yes, I'd love to get a place together. Where do you think would be a good place to live? I only ask that it has space for a few animals." He smiled slightly looking at Seth.

[merlin]

Seth wasn't sure to be happy the other said yes or uncertain at the mention of animals. Seth wasn't sure how it would work out if they lived together if Marcus owned any animals. Seth had needed to give up his dog six months ago because the animal was so afraid of him. Seth had started using muggle mailing systems because he couldn't get an owl to stay still long enough to send a letter. How could Seth ask Marcus to have no animals when Seth knew that animals were the others passion. Seth should have thought of that and wasn't sure how to point it out now that he had thought about it.

"Marcus, I was thinking of Foxwood trails since there is so much space out there and my parents and one of sisters lives out there but there's this thing that I forgot about," Seth said uncertainly. "I don't know how you could own pets if your going to live with me," Seth said, figuring saying it bluntly and just getting it out there would make things easier. "It's because of what I am. Animals can tell you see and they are afraid and can't even stay in the same room as me except for cats and rats."

Seth hoped that this explanation would explain the problem. Seth doubted Marcus would be very happy living in a house where he could only keep cats or rats as pets. Perhaps they might find some brain dead dog who didn't mind Seth being a vampire but Seth doubted that. Though as for owls if they lived in foxwood trails and had their own land then perhaps Seth could build Marcus an owlery so that Marcus could keep some birds. Seth wasn't sure and didn't know how this would work.