m i s e r y {martin/open}

[grace]

Grace hadn't been feeling well at all, she had been getting headaches, feeling very fatigued, and her stomach was always unsettled. Though she wasn't sure if the physical ailments (likely the result of some sort of end-of-winter flu) even came close to her emotional pain. She would rather be violently ill over this general malaise if it meant she could feel happy, if it would make the nightmares go away. Grace settled herself down in the sand, pulling her knees up to her chest, not shivering in spite of the fact that it was freezing, very slight flurries of snow swirling around on the dreary February air.

She was warm enough anyway, being dressed in jeans, boots and a bulky sweater, as well as having a scarf and her cloak to top it off. Though Grace imagined everyone else was warmer inside that Sunday afternoon, but she couldn't stand to be in the school, had needed to get away from everyone. Normally, when she felt like this, Grace would go to see the hippogriffs, or more recently, the thestrals, but she hadn't had the will to walk the extra distance. It seemed too far away for her weary body. So the lake it was. Grace stared blankly over its surface, the dark water coated with a paper-thin sheet of ice that shimmered despite the overcast.

Really, Grace couldn't recall being more miserable, especially since she had to carry on like nothing was wrong. She wasn't entirely alone, she had confided in Marvel, but it killed to only see him when she was scheduled for work. He was the only one who knew, the only one who could begin to remotely understand. Grace released a heavy sigh, bringing her knees up to her chest and resting her head atop them. What was she supposed to do with herself?

Grace had never felt so alone, helpless, trapped. It was a terrible place to be, she didn't know where to turn, and on top of it feeling sick... She bit her lip lightly, flinching when she heard the sound of footsteps on the sand. Grace just hoped it wasn't Caleb, she wasn't sure if she wanted to see him just then. Still biting her lip, Grace turned her head to look up at...

[martin]

Two months....It had been two months since the attack. Two agonizing months since Quinton had been shamelessly murdered. In the two months, Martin had been anything but himself. Even if he hadn't been with the boy for too long, it had been enough to build a strong bond between him and the now deceased boy. His death had completely and utterly destroyed him, though. The young Hufflepuff did practically nothing now. During the first few weeks of the attack, Martin had spent the days sobbing non-stop, never moving from his room. He hardly ate now, and it showed in his thinning form. His skin was a faint pale color now and his eyes were lifeless and dull. As the weeks went by, the boy had brought an end to his tears simply because he could no longer get himself to cry. Even during the nights where the nightmares would creep onto him in his sleep, he would give only dry sobs, a tear never falling from his eyes.

Martin hardly did anything, now. His grades were sharply falling even in the few weeks he had returned to school. But, that wasn't what alarmed his family. No, it was the fact that in the past two months, the boy hadn't uttered a single word. The loss of his boyfriend had been devestating and the mental and emotional damage was beyond what anyone could comprehend. He never said a single word or sound to anyone. It didn't matter who you were. His brother tried to speak to him, his few friends, even a few of the teachers had tried. But, he responded to none of them. The boy was hardly wearing anything, even with the weather still being incredibly cold. He was wearing only a thin, long sleeved shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. Nothing more. The cold was obviously getting to him, though, his limbs shivering in the air. But, it didn't matter to him, nothing had. As he slowly sulked along the edge of the Black Lake, Martin hadn't even noticed that Grace was there in the sands as well until he ha practically tripped over her.

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[grace]

Grace had been quite content to sit there alone in the chilly air, bundled up in her too-large cloak staring blankly out at the lake, was almost annoyed in fact that someone else was there. Though a foot hooking under her thigh made her flinch, and she looked up to see Martin, her stomach churning unsteadily. Her brother had not been faring well since the attack. She had heard, of course, how Quinton Davies had died in his arms. Martin hadn't said a word since, not to her, not to anyone. Though Grace wasn't offended by it, she knew what it was like, to not have a voice, to be closed off from everyone else.

She herself only had a very small, select group she would actually speak to, the rest of the world... They would never hear her. Grace frowned slightly, noticing her brother didn't have a jacket or even a cloak. It was freezing out. She peered around a moment to make sure nobody else was nearby. "Martin," Grace said softly, "why don't you sit with me a minute? I'll, um, share my cloak." She patted the sand beside her with a gloved hand. She worried deeply about her brother, he seemed so broken. She felt the need to take care of him.

[martin]

As he practically fell over Grace, the boy stared at her for a moment, a bit surprised that she was there and that he hadn't noticed her. Blinking a few times as he stared at her, his empty eyes hardly focused on her, seeing her but in essence, he wasn't. Taking a small step back so he wasn't right on top of her, Martin was tempted to turn around. He didn't want to deal with her or anyone. At this point, he didn't want to be around anyone no matter who it was. He preferred to be left alone now more than ever. He wanted to be able to be left with his thoughts, with his memories of the boy he so dearly loved. As she spoke, though, offering him a seat and some of her cloak, the Hufflepuff boy halted his thought of leaving.

It was cold out and his arms and chest were beginning to go numb from the frost-bitten air. He hesitated for a moment, considering the offer before weakly nodding his head. Being careful, he sat down beside her, his eyes lowered to the sand beneath him. His eyes never met hers and his silence remained, not giving even the faintest sound. Even though the others around him found it unnatural, at this point, it was like instinct for him to remain mute. To speak to anyone would seem foreign and just wrong. After seeing the life slip out of the boy he loved, how could he ever manage to find a voice again?

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[grace]

Grace watched Martin carefully, she could see the debate in his eyes, as if he didn't really want to stay with her. She could understand wanting to be alone, why else would she be out here on such a cold day? Though her brother looked like he could use someone to sit with. She didn't care if he didn't talk, though it was odd to say the least, having the roles reversed. Normally others could speak whereas she could not, she didn't quite know what to do. But she understood. Grace was glad when Martin complied, sitting down beside her. As promised, she picked up the hem of her cloak, draping it around his shoulders before tugging it closed again.

He was freezing, she could feel his coldness even through all of her layers. In attempts to warm him up a little faster, Grace placed her arm around his shoulders, leaning into him slightly. She could feel how thin he had gotten, he must not have been eating. He was so bony, so fragile. Grace about wanted to start crying, she had been too consumed in her own woes to pay attention to how much Martin was hurting. How ruined he was. Really, they were quite a pathetic pair at the moment, but she couldn't tell her brother what had happened, that had to be secret... "You're going to make yourself sick," sighed Grace. There she was again, going into her doting, maternal nature, in spite of the fact that Martin was older than her.

[martin]

Even though he had tried as best as he could to keep himself from shivering, his shoulders and limbs refused to obey. As he sat there, his form continued to shiver from the cold, but he paid little attention to it. Or, at least he made it look that way. The sudden warmth of the cloak was instantly noticeable for him, his chilled skin taking in the heat to warm his thinned body. For a moment, Martin glanced over at his sister, trying to keep himself from shivering too much. He didn't want her to see him like this. As she placed an arm around his shoulders and leaned against him, the Hufflepuff instantly tensed, his posture becoming ridged. It seemed like forever since someone had been this close to him. He wasn't quite sure what to do about it. He was sure the blonde could feel the loss of weight on his form, and he almost pulled away from her. Almost.

But, whether he wanted to admit it or not, the contact was comforting. After spending two months avoiding any contact, the boy hadn't realized how much he had missed it. It took a few moments, but he managed to relax, allowing Grace to lean against him. As the girl spoke, Martin said nothing -- as usual -- and simply shrugged his shoulders. Yes, he might've gotten sick that way, but he didn't care. Hell, he could've been attacked by manticore and he wouldn't have cared. It was just how his mind set was for the time being. He just didn't care about really anything at that point.

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[grace]

Grace wished she knew what to tell her brother, that she knew something, anything that might be of some amount of comfort. Though lately she couldn't even console herself, let alone someone else. She just hoped that her half-embrace might at least do something. "Relax," Grace said softly, gently rubbing her hand up and down Martin's upper arm, thankfully his posture did seem to loosen somewhat. She just wanted to help her brother where she could. Take him inside, feed him a hot meal, make sure he got warmed up. Though she wasn't sure how much he would resist her, he had been so withdrawn lately.

Then again, so had she. Oddly enough, she found she wasn't dawdling quite so much in her own self-pity when there was someone else to take care of, she had less energy to devote for it. Grace bit her lip a moment, wondering what she could do. People who cared enough to interact with her usually kept conversation simple, yes-or-no questions, but that didn't really seem appropriate. Though if one thing was for sure, Grace wouldn't try to force Martin to speak, she knew what that was like. "You haven't been eating," Grace said plainly. If she cared to try she could probably count his ribs, she looked up at her brother, concern in her eyes.

[martin]

Grace's words were more of a statement than a question, and the Hufflepuff knew she could feel his thin form beneath his clothes. He looked away from the blonde, feeling suddenly ashamed of himself and his appearance. He couldn't say what it was, but he felt a bit guilty as she made her observations. Martin suddenly felt so small, so breakable. Bringing his knees up to his chest, he pressed his forehead against his knees, staring down at the ground as he weakly pulled away from his sister. While her gestures brought about some sense of comfort, the fact that she could see the flaws that he had been trying to hide from his family began to make him a bit uneasy, a bit uncomfortable. He was thankful that his brother hadn't noticed that he had lost weight, though he could only imagine that it would only be a matter of time.

His loss of body mass wasn't really from purposely avoiding food, it was just simply that he hardly felt hungry. And, whenever he did, it took little to fill him. His appetite had drastically dropped and if he didn't have the covering of his clothes, then it would've been obvious. His ribs were beginning to show and his joints were always protruding beneath his skin. For a moment, Martin wondered if Grace would tell everyone else about his lack of health, and that brought up a sense of fear. He didn't want to be put on evaluation or medications as he was sure that they would try to put him on if they ever did find out.

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[grace]

Grace's heart was breaking, really, she was under more emotional strain that what she could say. All the things Caleb had done to her, the things her father had done to her before him, the things she had seen... And now there was this, worrying about the rest of her family, what they were going through. Grace bit her lip as Martin began to lightly pull away, she didn't want him to do that, in a way she almost needed the contact. There were so few people that she could have this cherished contact with, so few that were trustworthy. And the number was tentatively declining.

Grace didn't feel the same comfort from Caleb's touches anymore, and not just because of the hitting. He had lost the gentleness, everything was so rough, so demanding. Though when it came to Marvel... Everything about his person was soft, the way he had taken her hand, when he had wrapped his arms around her when she cried... "Martin, please, don't go," said Grace, an odd quality to her voice. Was it begging? She didn't want to be alone, she didn't want her brother to be alone. Grace withdrew her hand from around his shoulders, instead sliding it into his hand.

[martin]

It would've been a lie if he said he hadn't been surprised by the request. Martin hadn't thought that his sister would want some lifeless thing like him around. But, as she pleaded for him to stay and held onto his hand, the boy couldn't get himself to leave. Looking at her, the Hufflepuff's shoulders slouched faintly, lowering his eyes for a moment before settling back beside her. His fingers lightly wrapped around hers, finding some sort of comfort in the gesture before he lightly leaned into her. Finally, he was admitting to himself just how lonely he was, just how much he longed for someone to be there for him. With Quinton, he had always been there whenever he needed him. He was never lonely with the boy. But, he couldn't have that any more.

For a moment, his mind went back to the memories he had been trying to forget, the memories of the wonderful times he spent with the Gryffindor. As he lingered on the thoughts, he felt his throat tighten, trying his best not to break down, especially not in front of his sister. But, the pain was practically unbearable, it always was.

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[grace]

Grace watched her brother with pleading eyes, feeling a great sense of relief when he settled back down beside her. She hadn't wanted to be alone, though she wouldn't admit it, it was killing her, pushing everyone away. She had not spent much time with her family since Caleb had started hitting her, she wanted to keep them in the dark. She didn't want them to see the bruises and other wounds, nor her tears. And now, she had a different sort of trauma to conceal. Grace allowed Martin to lean into her, and lightly rested her head atop his, continuing to keep her hand around his.

Really, they were a sorry sight, the both of them broken by circumstances beyond their control... Well, perhaps that was not entirely true in her case. Grace could have stopped him, could have done something, but she had frozen in fear, let him have his way with her. With her free hand, Grace adjusted her cloak around them, closing them off from the cold. "Thank you," Grace whispered, lightly squeezing Martin's hand. She felt on the verge of a breakdown, but it felt good to not be alone, to have her brother beside her.