hopel e s s //nix

[nixnight]

Nix felt herself body flinch and her patronus gave a soft growl as she did, strangers? Nix's hands balled up and she tried to maintain herself but she could see that it was working by her silver side, the wolfs fur was standing on end now and it's tail and ears were up. She took a deep breath to calm herself and her wolf calmed too before she looked at the younger girl, "who knows? Or haven't you told any authorities?" she said in a tight voice before she shook herself. "it's not my place to ask, dont worry" she said before she leant against the younger girl again.

She felt comforted to know that someone else knew what she was going through and someone else needed someone to be with them like her, but it brought a thought to her mind. No one had found out about her and prudence so maybe there were others like them, maybe they were in the school without others to talk to and lean on.

[prudence]

Prudence was alarmed slightly when the silvery wolf growled, its hair and ears sticking straight up, seemingly mirroring Nix. But in a quick moment both her friend and the patronus had calmed to what could be considered a neutral expression. "No, it's all right," Prudence said quietly, after so long of holding her tongue it was probably good for her to talk about it. Though she didn't ever see herself talking to many people, and at that point had only now told three people. Not even the nurse knew what had happened, just that Prudence was pregnant. Darn helpful the woman was, never asked too many questions, and it was part of her job to keep confidentiality to some degree.

"I told a friend of mine, my father, and now you," said Prudence, lightly wringing her hands in her lap, "my father went to the ministry, but my case isn't exactly a priority." Not that Prudence could blame them, there were greater and more dangerous things that needed to be dealt with. But still, it made her angry that the men who had so brutally violated her might never be brought to justice. Prudence didn't get angry often, she didn't quite know what to do with it. She returned to biting her lip, her eyes were stinging once again.

[nixnight]

Nix heard prudence speak and nearly snapped that is bloody well wasn't alright, but she waited for a moment and her friend spoke again and she nodded. Atleast someone knew, if she had been in any sort if term with her father or mother then she would have sent them and owl to push the case through but nix knew they wouldn't help her. They hated her as a child, what they would do when they found they had a grandchild was not something nix wanted to think about.

She did not was her baby growing up around prejudice and pureblood madness like she did, it was a wonder nix was an insane slytherin herself but somehow the beatings and constant starving had turned her against them and their ideas. She had no idea why.

She shook her head at thoughts of her old family when she was due a new one and yet more worries hit her, what happened when all the other adopted siblings she had found out. Then what happened? Of course she and her adopted older brother weren't related but it would still be plenty odd

[prudence]

Prudence took in a deep, shuddering breath to steady herself, though the tears that had threatened to fall weren't of sadness, but anger. That scared her almost, she didn't know what to do with it, she wasn't predisposed to being angry. She might have been upset or irritated before in her life, but never angry. Though after a few more breaths the feeling had dissipated, leaving her feeling the exact same way she had for the past few months. It wasn't the crippling depression she had faced during the summer, more like a constant ache in her heart and a nervous feeling in her stomach.

At that particular moment, Prudence found herself grateful for the silence- just to be able to sit in the warmth of the patronus and focus her energy on not crying. She still couldn't bring herself to look at Nix, the shame she felt was simply too much. Prudence realized that it wasn't her fault, but she couldn't help but feel almost embarrassed about the pregnancy. More so because she didn't know what to do with herself. Prudence was keeping the baby, that much was certain, but she wasn't ready to be a mother, and without her own to look to for guidance... She felt completely lost.

[nixnight]

Nix sudden question popped in to the side of nix's head and she bit her lip to keel herself from speaking first off, she knew her family had her exiled and cut off and had done for 16 years now but what about prudence. She knew her father wasn't the sort to dote over his daughter and shower her with toys every few days but surely he knew about this, but how was he taking his daughters choice was what concerned nix. She knew that she could be a mother because she had looked after Maya and grace and the twins when they had first been adopted and she knew that she could count on them to stand by her once they knew about their new sibling. But what's about prudence?

"does your father know? I know you said he was trying to bring those who did it to justice but does he know about....everything?" she asked in a small voice as her patronus yawned and stretched it's paws and and rested it's large head in them

[prudence]

Prudence curled up her legs beside her as they had previously been straight out. This sent a wave of sand into her shoes, but she wasn't paying attention to that at the moment. A quick charm would sort it out once she stood up anyway, she was more focused on trying to think of the future. Every plan she had had before didn't have room in it for a baby, not at this age, anyway. Granted, she had only had one plan to begin with, that being going into the ministry like her father wanted. But now she knew staying in school wasn't exactly an option, and she didn't know how her father was going to react to the news...

Prudence finally looked at Nix when she asked if her father knew. Now she felt genuine shame, she hadn't gotten around to telling him yet, the only person aside from Nix she had told was Jonathon. She turned her gaze back to the lake and shook her head lightly. "I'm scared of how he'll react," Prudence said in a small tone, "he's not exactly gentle." She was sure he would understand the circumstances, but he wasn't the most accommodating man in the world.

[nixnight]

Nix gave a little smile at her freinds reply and she nodded down to her small bump, "if it helps, my fokes know and went mad about it, they said they would throw me out and take all my money away if i didnt get rid of it and then i pointed out that they had already done that and now they just plain wont talk to me" she said before she shook her head and then turned to face the water again

her legs were now acheing a little from standing up and sitting down but she didnt mind so much, her patronus was keeping her legs warm and she felt really good now that she had someone to talk to about her issue and even better that they understood because it was the same for them.

[prudence]

Prudence's heart gave a small sting for Nix when the redhead mentioned that her family had essentially thrown her out and taken her money because of her decision to keep the baby. It wasn't right, now was the time when they needed support, not to be shamed for what had happened. Particularly in her own case, it hadn't been her fault that the child had come to be, but it had been created and who was she to end something like that? A tinge of fear was sneaking into her present thoughts, what if her father acted that way when she told him? Prudence literally had nothing, none of her own money, and without experience she couldn't get a job that paid enough for her to support herself and a baby.

"That's awful," said Prudence, her tone seemingly growing smaller and smaller with each sentence. Her voice was now half the volume it had been when Nix had first approached her, and she hadn't been particularly audible then. That was the way that Prudence was, when she was hurting she became even more soft spoken than she normally was. Prudence bit down on her lip slightly as she attempted to not think on her fear of her father rejecting her.

[nixnight]

Nix all but rolled her eyes at the girl beside her and then she shifted her hands so that she could pull back her school robes, then she slipped her fingers under her black jumper and pulled it back to her elbows and twisted her arm round. A long and harsh deep scar sat above her skin and she ran her pointer finger over it and all but laughed, "i wouldnt have gone back to family if they were the last people alive, my child will enver meet them. I can promise that much" she said in a sharp voice before a firm thought hit her. Her baby wouldnt have any grandparents, her own hated her from only a few months old and its father had none by blood and his adoptive father was close to death after his wife had so recently died

[prudence]

Prudence looked over at Nix, her heart giving another painful sting as she saw the girl's scar. It wasn't fair that someone so nice should be treated so badly, and now that she thought on it, that argument could be applied to her as well. It wasn't fair what had happened to her, that she would be raising a child alone because of it. Nix's tone, not the words, surprised Prudence slightly, she had never heard the redhead speak like that before. She bit her lip as she thought on her own extended family, how they would react. Both her parents were only children, hence she had no aunts, uncles, or cousins- she had only her paternal grandmother and her maternal grandparents. "I wish there was something I could do," sighed Prudence, not only for Nix, but for herself. She had never feelt so hopeless before...

[nixnight]

Nix looked down softly at the girl beside her and then an idea hit her, "you feel alone dont you" she said. It wasnt a question, it was a statement of fact, she knew it because it was the same for her. "i bet there are others like us, earlier who dont know what to do" she said as a small smile grew on her face, "we could form a group, we could act as an older person for others to talk to about the issue and they could act as comfort for us at the same time" she said as a proper grin grew on to her face

"think about it, we could save magical babies for losing a chance at life. We could help people choose what was right for them, everyone would end up winning" she said before the other end of her idea hit her. "but everyone would then know..." she said in a voice that trailed off and her happiness quickly followed after it

[prudence]

Prudence could only nod, in all of her impressive vocabulary nothing seemed better to describe what she felt than "alone." As far as she knew there was not a single person in Hogwarts that was going through the same thing she was. Having been so brutally broken, having a child come from it... Prudence kept quiet as Nix spoke about the idea of them doing something of a support group. The very idea of that made her stomach clench, she had been nervous around strangers before, but now was even more so. That and it was almost frightening, having so many know about it. But Prudence knew she had precious little time before she couldn't hide what was growing inside her...

She bit her lip a moment, finding it too hard to maintain eye contact, so instead kept her gaze out toward the unnaturally smooth lake. It almost didn't look real, how still the water was. "I'm not sure that I'm ready for anyone else to know just yet," Prudence said softly. Perhaps later, when she couldn't hide the evidence, even then she probably wouldn't be comfortable in that sort of setting. Prudence didn't lead, didn't mentor, she had no idea how to go about being someone others could look to for any advice.

[nixnight]

Nix turned her head and then gave a soft smile, "then dont let anyone know, I'll do it" she said with a little nod before she offered out a hand. "I'll set it up and give students the chance to come and talk to me and then you could just be someone who comes to see me, we'd get to talk and no-one would know about it until you told them, or until that point you couldnt hide it anymore" she said in a long breath before she paused and took in a deep breath. "besides, people will start to know about me soon enough, the bump is getting bigger, and i'd rather be able to help people with it as oposed to hiding it and everyone suffering" she said with a soft smile again as she shifted her eyes to look and see the reaction of the younger girl

[prudence]

Prudence felt her stomach relax slightly at Nix's second proposal, she didn't want to get an undeserving label being slapped on her. She wasn't promiscuous, she hadn't ever been in a romantic relationship before. This was yet another factor to her being so scared, she really would be alone. Prudence wouldn't blame any guy for not wanting to get involved with her now that there was a child in the picture. A child that wouldn't be theirs, that they had no obligation to whatsoever. She almost wanted to start crying again, though she kept her composure. "You're a very kind person," Prudence commented in a small tone, she wasn't sure if she could ever do something like that, no matter how much she was encouraged to. Prudence accepted the hand she was offered, knowing that Nix was going to be able to do good things with her plan.

[nixnight]

Nix smiled and gave the younger girl a little tug, it would be better if she got up and walked a little and nix was already finding that she had turned even more protective of the younger years now so prudence was going to be on the end of that today. "im not kind, im the result of years of abuse, im the odd one" she said in a voice that sounded proud, an old wizard had called her that when she had stepped in the way of a younger drunk boy threatening to hex him. Nix had only been 12, she'd been visiting a freind of hers and got in the way to protect the man only to find out he was her freinds father. He didnt have long to live now though.

Nix shook her head and tugged on her freinds hand again, "you'll want to walk a bit, we need the excercise" she said with a small smile as she leaned forward herself and steadied herself for a moment before she stood up herself.